I did love that speak out..and I keep that little girl's drawing on my wall by my desk at work...and it does serve to remind me that our hope is in education and the young folks...but they are taught by older folks...so the work must go on..we must keep speaking...we must keep coming out of the closet so people know we are good, contributing and regular members of society and that we should be equal. It is fear that keeps their mind's closed. Unfortunately..fear also keeps so many of us in the closet ..and without speakout...we would still be peeping back at each other from behind the wall of fear...so..when she wrote."you go girl"..she knew what she was talking about. I will always speak out.. and every speaking engagement I go to proves to me that we should and need to keep going. I know one little girl who will grow up "speaking" for us"...

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage" - Anais Nin

Last May I had the honor of being asked to represent MSOP as a speaker at the Mt. Ararat Middle School. I had recently completed the MSOP training in April and the school's Diversity Day marked my first opportunity to speak. I was a bit nervous but later upon entering the school, I felt inspired by the positive energy. Admittedly, I went in that morning, focused on my personal perspective as a Lesbian, but in fact was reminded diversity is about differences well beyond Sexuality.

My fellow speakers and I participated in two separate sessions to one group of 7th graders followed by a group of 8th graders. We told our stories to these attentive groups and proceeded to answer their quite appropriate questions.

What impacted me the most that day, was the re-connection I felt to my time as a teenager. If only there had been a similar kind of support system and discussion about these issues when I was growing up. Maybe my personal struggle could have been easier. The peers, I eventually sought advice from, might also have been able to offer better insight.

I would like to thank MSOP for giving me a forum to share my very personal story. And I'd like to thank the students, administrators, and faculty for opening up their school to the celebration of Diversity. My involvement that day solidified for me the hope that despite all our differences, there is power in the acknowledgement of them. I drove off the school property with a renewed sense of pride in our common community, diverse as it is.

Why Bother? Our days are so full and our time so tight, why should anyone take the time to 'speak out' or 'walk with the one you love' in hopes of changing a negative attitude to a positive about gays? I'm straight. I work in the public school system, and I am reminded daily of the cruel and casual discrimination that is randomly thrown at invisible targets.

Mean words that are tossed around like hard balls -- these are wild balls, thrown at whoever will giggle or squirm or strike or duck -- words like fag, gay, queer, lesbian. These names are called out as an offense and they bounce around the room touching kids and rebounding off. The fact is, the percentages have been proven, that somewhere in the room or hall or cafeteria there is a gay, transgender or bisexual child who is cringing inside, turning inside out to not be noticed when these words come at them.

We, as a society, have asked our gay community members to disappear. We'll accept them if we don't have to 'see' them. We ask that of the adults in our society, and we ask that of the kids in our schools. We talk about health issues in schools, but the issue of sexual orientation is tainted, gray, and unclear. For a kid who hasn't figured out who they are or why they feel so different there is no place to question or talk or learn -- they learn early to 'blend in' and stay out of sight. How ridiculous. I want to be one voice that sounds loud and clear whenever the name calling starts. I make it a point to catch those words as they start flying out over the room -- I catch them, crumple them, and throw them in the trash where they can't hurt anyone. I speak openly saying that being gay is being strong and brave in who you are -- finding yourself and being true to that self is never easy in this life -- especially if you're gay. I sometimes wonder about the strength of my message when I 'speak out'. I'm straight and sometimes that isn't who an audience is expecting to see. My message to groups is simple -- it's up to the straight community to speak loudlly against discrimination on this issue. It's up to the straight community to lead the walks in our communities, clear the debris from the sidewalk, be on guard for the bigots in the crowd and set an example of tolerance and acceptance. It's up to us to make the playgrounds and the offices safe enough for the gay kids and adults in our communities to 'become visible'. Fighting discrimination is a community responsiblility, and it's one that I take very seriously.

My fondest experience during a speakout session was just recently. I was moved when I saw people with tears in their eyes and others drying tears during my talk. Most of the times I have an idea of what I will be talking about and most times other I go of track when I feel the need to do so to help bring home the message. I have enjoyed all my co-partners on these assignments and the experience has shown that they have always been a good match.

I strongly feel the need that these speakouts need to continue because I find them to be a healing experience for me since I talk about the family I lost after being out for nearly twenty years and now it is an issue with them. Being a speakout member has really made an impact on my life and I look forward to many more sessions. I thank MSOP for allowing me to do this so I may help others understand the real hurt and put a face on the issue.